They NEVER tell you!

When I was young....and I mean before the age of say 8 or 9 life was pretty simple. You woke up, went to school, walked home, did your home work, went outside and played , waited for your Dad to come home, ate dinner and watched some Family Ties and went to bed. You dreamed you would marry a man just like your Dad, have kids by the time you were at the old age of 25, with a house a dog. Life was wonderful!!! Then you grew up....and you found out that THEY NEVER TELL YOU what is really going to happen!!!!
they never tell you that your dad will be sick and you will worry about him for the rest of your life. That your siblings will be treated better than you and you will have to fend for yourself. That you will have cancer and it will change your life. That people, children die way before they should. That big brothers WONT stand up for you and hurt you more that you can imagine. That your record player would be your salvation and take you away from your troubles along with a swig of Vodka. That friends aren't true till the end and that trust is hard to come by. That once cancer is in remission you HAVE to worry about the side effects. That heart attacks are not only for the old...unless 34 is the new 70! That brain tumors can ruin your life.
They say you should go to school, get an education.....but that would not have helped me...in any of those situations. They don't teach you how to deal with death, heart ache, betrayal, relapse. they say be happy that you are alive, count your blessings.....God wont give you more that you can handle....well I'm all handled out. I'm not going to have most of those things I dreamed about when I was a little girls. I'm not going to have the kids, the house or dag.....where is my "American Dream" !!!?????
Those of you that know me, I mean really know me!!! You know that this is not me.....I'm not this angry bitter person.....I'm just hurt and tired...and need to vent. I know that in the end, I'm a pretty lucky girl.....but sometimes the pain is so deep....it is hard to see the light......
ps...if you ever hear of a class that helps with these things....please let me know....I will be in the 1st row!!! :)